Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize