READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
