She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
