Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
