Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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