I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
