If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
