Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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