Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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