I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize