I wish I could teleport
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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