just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize