well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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