so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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