my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
