I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
