I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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