are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
