if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
