Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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