first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize