I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
