Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
