An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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