I just threw up on my dentist
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you win again, gameday.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.