i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".