if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
