two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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