How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize