jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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