just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize