Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
