Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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