The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
