And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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