a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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