I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize