I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize