Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
