i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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