Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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