Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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