and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize