Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
