it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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