I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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