he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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