i jhust puked up my retainher.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
