Redeem this text for a blowjob
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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