when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
