You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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