look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
