Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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