Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She even gives head with a lisp.
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I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
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He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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