I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
