I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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