i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
