take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
