Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
