Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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