In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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