I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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